Saturday, March 24, 2012

Woe Is Me.... Yet, I Feel So Blessed

I have been hearing from a lot of people that this week has just been a really tough one to get through. 
I was one of the people saying that.
I started listing all of the things that were going wrong and I realized that wasn't getting me anywhere. 
I decided to change my mind set and see how much Heavenly Father notices me and is blessing me, especially during my trials and times of need.

Late Monday evening, I began coming down with a sore throat and a runny nose.
Not bad symptoms, just annoying. Right?
I would have loved if it would just stayed at that, 
but progressively as the days went by, my symptom count was rising.
Fever of 101.6, pink eye in not one but BOTH eyes, weakness, 
exhaustion, no voice whatsoever, feeling like my lungs could not exhale 
because something was constricting them, DOUBLE ear infection, stuffy nose, 
headaches, and so forth. You name it, I got it. 
I began complaining, because naturally, who wouldn't?
I moped around feeling sorry for myself and crabbing at everyone (Nick)
even though they weren't doing anything wrong.
I had to get myself in line. And fast.

I began listing off all of the problems I was having, 
and then thinking of how I had been blessed through it all.

Monday night was "hard" for me.
So hard in fact that I had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, medicine to take, a husband to take care of me and cuddle me when I wake up shivering because of my developing fever, a baby that is the happiest little girl ever who will put a smile on anyone's face. It's like she can sense that mama is sick.

Tuesday was even "harder."
Harder because my husband goes to school and works so I can stay at home with Malia. I didn't have to call into my work and ask for a sick day. I was already able to be at home. Again, I was able to nap while my perfect little baby napped, which gave me enough energy to be able to stay awake with her and play. It was even the most hard for me because as soon as my husband walked in the door, he grabbed Malia from me and took care of her the rest of the night so I could rest some more. 

Wednesday was even more "hard."
I wake up about 8:30 and take a much needed hot shower because my difficult daughter decided that she wanted to sleep in until 9:30 this day. Shame on her. About 9:00am, I hear a knock at the door. It was my husband (he forgot his key). I open the door to see his hands full. In his one hand, he had a rose for me. In his other, he had orange juice. He said he was staying home from school that day to help me out with anything I needed. Seriously, how could I feel so bad about myself when I am being waited on hand and foot?
This was the day that my fever spiked up to 101.6. I was hot, then cold, then hot again. Finally, I called up the doctor and set up an appointment. I needed to figure out what was going on in my body. Yes, it is so hard to have health insurance, to be able to call up the doctor anytime of the day and be able to get right in. They came to the conclusion that I had all the symptoms of the flu, but I was vaccinated for it months before and the swab test came back negative. Seriously, the flu?! And to think I thought I was dying! I look at my amazing mother in law who has fought cancer FOUR TIMES, and I was complaining about the measly flu. I was so fortunate to get a prescription from the doctors to cure my "life-threatening illness."  After I got home, Nick called one of our home teachers to assist him in a blessing for me. The blessing was so beautiful. I am so grateful that I have the priesthood in my home and I am able to ask for a blessing any time of the day! Afterwards, I took my medicine, which my crummy health insurance mostly covered. How dare them! I get home, only to receive a text from my mean ol' mother saying she is bringing me some homemade chicken noodle soup. It was absolutely delicious!! And it actually helped me to feel better. Within minutes of taking my medicine, my fever was gone and I was on the ground playing patty-cake with my daughter. I felt great!!

Thursday was really "hard" for me, too.
I woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. Really?? I think about it and it seems as if it is the worst thing that could happen at this moment, then I realize "At least I can even see. There are people out there who are blind and wake up to darkness every. single. day!!" With my pink eyes, I was still able to gaze at my husband as he made me breakfast, and I was still able to see my beautiful little baby smile at me trying to make me feel better. Malia was starting to cough a little in her sleep, so I decided to set her up and appointment to make sure she wasn't getting sick. I took her in and she was healthy as can be. Honestly, that was the hardest thing of all... My baby, whom I am around 24/7 was staying 100% healthy as she stayed alongside her highly contagious mother. So, I decided that today was the day I was going to get better!! I was sure of it! I felt that if I went out and about and kept myself busy, rather than moping around in my house, I'd get better quicker. I traveled the long and treacherous 7 miles to my parent's house. It is SOOOOO hard to have my family so close. I couldn't be more burdened. My mom and I relaxed and watched movies and ate lunch together. She helped me with my child, whom seriously does nothing wrong. About an hour before I left their house, I began feeling pressure in my right ear. Really? Another symptom. I had an ear infection. A really bad one that that. But I was going to push through it and overcome this sickness today!! I went home that evening to my husband who had cooked a fantastic dinner. My life is so hard!! We then went on a walk to the park which is a whopping 4 blocks away. We took the dog, cat, and Malia and had a blast. It was Malia's first time in the swings. She absolutely loved them!! I have pictures to prove it! :) We went home after that and put Malia to bed so we could finally relax together. About 3:00am, I woke up FREAKING OUT because I could not breathe! At ALL!! My lungs were completely shut, it felt like. I was sobbing telling Nick we needed to call 911. Luckily, I have a level headed husband who padded my back and encouraged me to take long deep breaths. He pulled me into the kitchen to help me do the Nedi-Pot nose thing. It was so weird, but helped a lot. By the time we got settled back down and into bed, I apologized a million times to Nick for waking him up in a frantic and these were his exact words, and I quote "Sheri, I am here to serve you any hour of the day." Seriously?! The nerve of that perfect man, to say something like that to me. We said another prayer together, and I slept fantastic the rest of the night.

Friday, the "hardest" of all days.
Woke up countless times throughout the night. One of the times I realized that one of my earrings was missing. My FAVORITE earrings to be exact.. It's a very small, material  thing, but it mattered to me a lot (I think) because it was one thing after another. I was so sad, and even said a little prayer in my heart. Within seconds, I moved my hand and there it was. It was just one of those reassuring instances where I know that the Lord knows even the littlest things that matter to us. My fever had left, but I still had everything else. Nick had a quiz that he had to go study for at school and would be leaving any minute. Just in the nick of time, he received a text saying that the quiz was postponed. That meant he would be home with me all day! :) That helped me cheer up. I got ready and we went out and about, because I know that being productive would help me get my mind off of myself. After a nice productive afternoon, I took a nap while Nick tended our daughter. Waking up from that nap, I still felt really gross. Didn't feel like doing anything but lounging. To my surprise, Nick brought home a pizza so I didn't have to cook. He is amazing!! We ate our pizza, then settled down. As we were watching a show, I began feeling like I wasn't able to breathe, just like the other night. I began crying and telling him we needed to go to the hospital, but felt so dumb about it because they're going to say nothing is wrong. It's just the flu. So I had him call my doctor, who happens to be open until 9 every night, and they got us right in. It was about 8:45 when we got there and I was hysterical. The sweet doctor told me nothing was wrong with my lungs but that I had developed severe ear infection and it was going to the other ear now. Wow!! She prescribed me some antibiotics and an inhaler and sent me on my way. I ended up sleeping at my parents house because Nick had to work a grave that night. Once I was there, I had no fever, I could breathe, my eyes weren't goopy anymore, and I was able to get some real sleep.

I wake up today, still with my double ear infection and cough, but I have realized something throughout this whole week. I have WAAAAY more to be thankful for than I have to complain about.

I have a husband who loves and cares about me more than I could ever ask for.
I have such a submissive, calm, happy little baby who always knows how to make me smile.
I have a family who always has their door open to help me whenever I need it.
I have friends who have offered to take Malia to let me rest.
I have a home, with electricity, hot water, and a bed.
I have health insurance that allows me to go to the doctor
whenever I am feeling sick or having any problems.
I have the gospel in my life which allows me to have an eternal perspective on life.
And most importantly, I have a Father in Heaven who knows
every single thing that I have been through and more.

There are people out there with much worse than I ever will.
They have lost family members, they have cancer or AIDS
or a real life-threatening disease, they have no home or hot water or food,
they're single parents trying to provide for their family,
they've got addictions that they are trying to overcome,
and much much more.

I am perfectly content with my flu because my life is far from hard.

Double pink eye and posing daughter.

Such a dopey dog.

How could this not make you smile?!
Yes, we got a kitten.
And yes we brought him for a walk.

The perfect daddy.

Discovered that she can suck on her bottom lip.

Have a great day!
And be thankful for what you've got, because there's people out there who have it much worse.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you Sheri, for postingthis. I've had a hard time this last month and reading your post reminded me of my many blessings. you have a beautiful family by the way. :-) hope you are feeling better!
    -Cristina Gonzalez